i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I've blown a few things in my day
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
