Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
