So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
