wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
