STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
