bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
