Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize