pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can text with my tongue
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
