Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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