: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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