just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
