is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
