no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
