come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
