none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
