god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
