I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
