That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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