Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
