She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
