please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
im six kinds of drunk right now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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