I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
