The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
