I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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