apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
