I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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