This girl is more easily done than said...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
