I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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