i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
