she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
