Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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