...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
