Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize