I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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