I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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