I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
