u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
