careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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