my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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