Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
