god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
