Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize