did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
