yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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