Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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