Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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