you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
