it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
