It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
