when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
