Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize