Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
