i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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