STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
