If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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