There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize