were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have fence marks all over my body
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
