I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
