Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
