You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize