so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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