I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
