Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
