so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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